What if?
by Time Holder
Summary: What if you had a chance to do a bad moment in your life over again, would anything change?


What If.  
  
What if one day you had the chance to take it all back, rewrite your past for a new future? What if you could redo a bad part of your life, make it all better? What if I told you that this isn't as good as it sounds, would you still do it? Well.unfortunately I wondered these same things, and I did do it. This is the story of my What If moment.  
You see, when I was young my brother was killed in a car accident, he was stupid and thought he could drive the twenty miles back to our house drunk. He had just been at some wicked party and decided that he would go home earlier than all his buddies, be the responsible one by getting home before daybreak. Unfortunately when you're drunk you don't have a very good perspective on what's responsible, obviously. So anyway, on his way home he apparently got really tired and started to veer of the road at eighty miles per hour, not the best thing to do when there's trees as far as the eye can see. But again, he didn't exactly know what was good or bad at the time. So my brother is speeding towards a forest with no one around, and he smashes into a tree. The whole front of his car is torn up, but he's relatively fine. A few hours later his friend's car came speeding down the road, slowly veering towards the trees as well, and rams into the tail end of his car. Needless to say his friend was in bad shape, but my brother was worse. He was in a coma and was bleeding all over. His friend was too drunk to know what had happened, but then he saw my brother in the car and seemed to straighten right up.  
"Oh man, dude, are you alright?" His friend asked the unconscious body. When there was no response his friend reached over the body and unbuckled him. My brother's friends were all strong, but luckily this one was the quarterback of the football team and could easily pick my scrawny brother up. The next thing I knew my parents were rushing me to the hospital to see him. When we got there my parents both let out a faint squeal at the sight of him, I just cried. I didn't know what was going on, all I knew was that my role model, the person I loved most in my family, was laying on a hospital bed in something called a 'coma'. I thought it was one of those things that you put in a sentence for correct grammar use, but my mom said that it was when someone sleeps for a long time and can't get out of it by himself.  
In a matter of hours my brother had died from lack of blood. My brother's friend told me everything that had happened, that he remembered anyway, and then we went home. I couldn't sleep that night, all that had happened that night was too much for a little 8-year old kid to handle. I had thought about my brother every day for the next twenty years, when I got my chance to change it.  
It was my brother's 38th birthday, we still celebrated them just to keep him alive in our hearts, and the whole family was there. We were all gathered around the table and singing happy birthday to my brother's ghost. I was told to make a wish for him, and so I smiled and at first thought of the wish I always had; to wish that he was doing okay wherever he was and to bless the rest of his family that were still with us. But then I thought of something different. I wished that he was still alive and here with us, and that he had never been in that stupid car accident. Sure it was a hopeless wish that would never happen, but it made me feel better to finally get it out. So we all ate our cake and visited, talked happily about what had been going on in each others lives, and did like we did every year. Then one family by one, they all left and I went to bed, just like every other year.  
The next morning was weird. I woke up without my wife at my bedside. My blanket was an old quilt that I hadn't had for years; my mom had made for me when we couldn't afford to buy our own. My room was small and scattered with various toys and clothes. It looked just like it had twenty years ago.before the accident. I shook my head and rubbed my eyes ferociously. This couldn't be happening; it was just a wish, just a stupid, childish wish! Yet when I opened my eyes again, I saw my old bedroom in my old house. "Wake up young man, you're going to be late for school! My mom's young voice shouted from down the hall. I really was eight again; this was no dream. I raced around my room to get ready for school early and was in the kitchen before my mom had time to shout twice. I smiled as she placed my old breakfast of burnt toast and eggs on the table. "Well that was fast, what's gotten into you this morning?" My mother asked as I scarfed down my breakfast. "Oh, nothing, I'm just feeling energetic today," I said in my high pitched little voice. "Well your brother should be out here in a minute to take you to school, I can't do it because I have to be at work early. They're giving me extra shifts since I need them so badly," My mother said. I gave my mother a weak smile and left the table. There was a sudden lump in my stomach as I remembered what day this was. My mother working late, my brother stealing the car to sneak into a party, this was the day of his car accident! I waited as calmly as I could for my brother to come out, trying to hold back my fear so as not to frighten my mother. When my brother came out I grinned widely; I had almost forgotten what he really looked like. All I had left was pictures, but they can't capture what a person really looks like, they only try. He looked like the normal eighteen-year old jock. He was tall with blond hair that was cut neatly at the middle of his neck, he didn't have as much muscle as most on the football team, but he wasn't as scrawny as some, and he always wore his blue football jacket. He smiled back at me as he walked into the kitchen and grabbed his own breakfast. "I'll take this on the road Maw, we're gonna be late," He said in a voice that I hadn't heard in ages and couldn't have missed more. "Come on Squirt," he said to me, and I hopped off the couch arm to follow him. We reached my school about ten minutes later, and I hopped out and waved goodbye. He waved back and then sped off. I went to school that day not caring what happened, only wanting it to end so I could get back home. Now that I was back to this day I could stop him from going to that party, I had to. School was pretty much a blur; I remember recess and a test. That's about it. I ran off the bus and quickly unlocked the door to my house, hoping to beat my brother home so I could make a plan. The only way I could really stop him was by tampering with the car, but I didn't know how that would affect affect anything after I was sent back to my present, considering my family was already poor and could barely afford to keep the car. I doubted they could fix any problems that would leave it unable to move. So I set my sights on another way to stop him, telling him about what would happen. I had no idea that it might be wrong, and I honestly didn't care if it kept him alive. So I waited by the door for him to come home and then jumped him. "Whoa, what's the rush little buddy? Can't we talk later, I gotta get ready for a party tonight," He said as I hung on him. "No, I have to tell you now, it's about the party." I told him everything, and I didn't regret a thing. I put in every single detail and even stretched the truth a little seal the deal, I had to make him stay. When I was finished he frowned. "Well, if you've told me all this, then what makes you think I'll still do it that way?" He asked. I was shocked by this question for a few reasons. The first being that I hadn't thought of an answer to it, and the second being that he didn't seem to care that I was really a 38-year old person sent back in time to stop him. I thought for a few seconds and then answered. "Well, I know you wouldn't do it the same way, but if you did get drunk then you wouldn't know what you'd do, I'm just saying it wouldn't be smart to take that chance when it's obvious what will happen." "Yes, but I won't get drunk if it means I'll die, that would be stupid," My brother replied. "It would be stupid to take the chance in the first place, why won't you just listen to me and stay here?" I asked, almost shouting. "I'm not listening to some crazy eight year old kid! You're just jealous because you're too young to have any fun like this, you can't be like me no matter how much you want to!" My brother shouted. I was on the verge of tears, but I wasn't going to give up. "Why would I be jealous of someone that's going to make a huge mistake tonight and die? I'm telling you this for your own good, just listen!" I shouted back, tears streaming down my cheek. "Fine, I'll listen. I won't go to that stupid party! But I am getting out of here, I have to get away from this house, and away from you!" He shouted, and then turned around and left. I slunk down on the wall and cried as I listened to our old car rev up and drive off. I'm not sure where the next few hours went, all I knew was that my mom came home crying. "Come on." She said, and then walked out of my room and back outside. I followed her out and saw that her carpool for work was still there in our front yard. "We're going to the hospital, Tyler's been hurt," My mom said through the tears. My mouth dropped open. My brother's name was Tyler. It was all happening again, exactly as it had before. I climbed in the car and was silent the whole way to the hospital. All I heard was the car and my mom's muffled crying. We reached the hospital a little later and were rushed up to the Emergency Wing. It was almost exactly as I remembered it, except this time there was an old man next to my brother instead of his friend. My brother looked worse than he had before, and I guessed that this man had hit him, I just didn't know how or why. "Sir, will you tell me what happened?" I asked the old man quietly. "Sure son, I was just driving down the road when I saw these bright headlights shine right in my eyes. I couldn't see where the road was; these old eyes aren't what they used to be, and then next thing I knew I was covered in my own blood and being carried into this room. That man, I'm guessing he's your brother, was pushed into the bed next to me. He seemed in real bad shape, muttering about getting away from everything." The old man said, shaking his head when he finished. "It's all my fault." I whispered. "I should have just broken the car.then he'd still be here." "What you talking about son?" The old man said, apparently his hearing was better than his vision. "Oh, it's nothing, I was just talking to myself." I said, looking up at the old man. "Hey.little buddy." My brother said in a small, raspy voice. "Tyler! Are you okay?" I asked him. "I don't think so. Listen, this isn't your fault at all, I shouldn't have left. I should have listened to you. But if you think about it, does any of it matter? I mean, I died before and I will again, it must be my fate or something.it can't be changed. Sorry little buddy." Those were my brother's last words. "Sorry little buddy." I went home that night feeling worse than I had the first time. I had just witnessed my brother die twice. One thing had changed though; I wouldn't want to change this again. And I learned something on that day; you can't change things in your past, you can just deal with them and make the best of your choices for the future. 


End file.
